Executive Presence & EQ at its Best: Queen Vashti vs. Queen Esther - The Leadership Lesson CEOs and Leaders Can't Afford to Miss

Hey leaders! 👋 

I want to tell you a story that's been reshaping how I think about executive presence, emotional intelligence, and strategic decision-making in today's volatile leadership landscape. And it comes from two queens who faced remarkably similar circumstances but chose radically different responses—with dramatically different outcomes. 

Queen Vashti vs. Queen Esther. Same kingdom. Same king. Same patriarchal system. Two completely different approaches to executive presence under pressure. 

The Vashti Response: Righteous but Costly 

Picture this: Queen Vashti gets a summons from King Ahasuerus to appear before his drunk advisors and show off her beauty. Her response? An immediate, righteous "No." She was absolutely right on principle. The request was demeaning, inappropriate, completely beneath her dignity as a queen. 

And you know what? She lost everything. Stripped of her position, banished from the kingdom, written out of history as a cautionary tale. 

Now before you think I'm defending the king's behavior—I'm not. Vashti was morally right. But here's the leadership lesson that's keeping me up at night: Being right and being effective are not always the same thing. 

The Esther Approach: Strategic Emotional Intelligence in Action 

Enter Queen Esther. Faces an even more impossible situation—her entire people are about to be annihilated. The pressure? Exponentially higher. The stakes? Life and death for an entire nation. 

But watch her response. She doesn't react immediately. She asks for time. She fasts. She strategizes. She understands something that Vashti didn't grasp: The relationship between response and outcome. 

Esther controlled her response, not just one response. She orchestrated a series of strategic moves that ultimately saved her people and positioned her as one of history's most influential leaders. 

What This Means for C-Suite Leadership Today 

Here's what I'm seeing in boardrooms across the country right now: We have a lot of Queen Vashtis and not nearly enough Queen Esthers. 

Leaders who are absolutely right on the issues but completely wrong on the timing, the approach, the strategic thinking. CHROs pushing back on toxic cultures with righteous indignation but losing their seats at the table. CEOs taking principled stands that torpedo their ability to create the change they're fighting for. 

And listen, I get it. When you see injustice, when you're facing unreasonable demands, when stakeholders are asking you to compromise your values—your gut reaction is to be Queen Vashti. Stand up. Say no. Draw the line. 

But mastering emotional intelligence at the executive level? That's about controlling your response pattern, not just one response. 

The EQ Maturity That Separates Great Leaders 

Here's what separates good executives from transformational leaders: 

Mature leaders understand the relationship between response and outcome. They don't just ask, "What's the right thing to do?" They ask, "What's the right thing to do that will actually create the outcome I'm trying to achieve?" 

They own the outcome regardless. Vashti could blame the patriarchal system. Esther took responsibility for finding a way to work within and ultimately transform that same system. 

They know when sacrifice is strategic and when it's just foolish. Vashti made a sacrifice that felt noble but accomplished nothing. Esther made calculated sacrifices that saved a nation. 

This isn't about compromising your values. This is about emotional intelligence sophisticated enough to achieve your values through strategic thinking. 

Today's Leadership Challenges Need Esther-Level Strategy 

Think about what you're facing right now: 

• Board pressures that seem to compromise your vision for the organization 

• Stakeholder demands that conflict with what you know is right for your people 

• Market conditions that require decisions you'd rather not make 

• Cultural resistance to changes that are absolutely necessary 

The Vashti response is to dig in, take the principled stand, and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes you lose your position, sometimes you lose your influence, but at least you maintained your integrity. 

The Esther response is more complex: How do I navigate this system strategically to create the outcome that serves the greater good? 

The Practical Application for Executive Presence 

When Marcus Buckingham talks about strengths-based leadership, when Marshall Goldsmith focuses on behavioral change, when Josh Bersin discusses strategic HR leadership—they're talking about Esther-level strategic thinking. 

Executive presence at its best isn't about having the perfect response in the moment. It's about orchestrating a series of responses that create transformation. 

It's understanding that sometimes you need to: 

• Timing your battles for maximum impact rather than immediate satisfaction 

• Building coalitions before taking stands, not after you've isolated yourself 

• Reframing conversations to create win-win scenarios from seemingly impossible situations 

• Using influence strategically to create sustainable change, not just momentary victories 

The Question Every C-Suite Leader Needs to Ask 

Here's what I want you to consider: Are you being Queen Vashti or Queen Esther in your current leadership challenges? 

Are you making righteous stands that feel good but accomplish little? Or are you thinking strategically about how to navigate complex systems to create the outcomes your organization actually needs? 

Because here's the truth: Your people need you to be Queen Esther. They need you to be strategic enough to maintain your influence, sophisticated enough to create real change, and mature enough to play the long game. 

The world has enough righteous leaders who flame out after taking principled stands. What we desperately need are strategic leaders who understand how to transform systems from within. 

The Bottom Line 

Executive presence at its best isn't about having perfect responses. It's about understanding the relationship between your responses and your ability to create lasting impact. 

Your organization, your people, your industry—they need leaders who can navigate impossible situations with Queen Esther's strategic emotional intelligence, not Queen Vashti's righteous but ultimately ineffective rebellion. 

What's your take? Are you facing a situation where you need to choose between being right and being effective? 

Drop a comment below and share what resonates with you. And if you're ready to develop that Queen Esther level of strategic executive presence, reach out. This is exactly the kind of sophisticated leadership development that transforms not just individual leaders, but entire organizational cultures. 

Like and share if this story hit home. Your fellow leaders need to hear this distinction too. 

Keep strategizing forward, 

Dr. Lepora